What Are You Worth?

A few posts ago, I featured an online friend of mine, Dennis Gaskill, who elaborated on the difference between self-image, self-worth and self-esteem. In my inbox this morning, was another gem of an article that I would like to share in part.

Dennis writes, "Most of us were taught to find our self-worth from temporary conditions external to our beings. That does not work. That is dysfunctional and explains many of the problems people have with low self-esteem. No person or circumstances outside of you can define your internal truth and real self-worth unless you let them.

"Whether seen from the perspective of spirituality or from the naked psychological imperative to develop a healthy self-image, the struggle for self-worth is always an internal one. I or others can write about it, but unless you take up the quest on your own, it will not having much meaning for you. Reading something once and agreeing with it intellectually is not the same as making it your own.

Here are Dennis' seven keys to self-worth. (Click the link for the full version.)

• Self-acceptance.


• Self-responsibility: We must own our thoughts, actions, and emotions and be responsible for them. We cannot blame our parents, family, friends or others; nor can we blame our location, education, environment, childhood, race, gender, or any other external factors for who've we've become, who we are becoming, or what we've done in the past. It's accepting that no one else is responsible for your happiness and no one is here to live up to your expectations for them.


• Self-justification: It is your right to exist. You are not here to live up to anyone else's expectations. Your life does not belong to another. You exist, and that is the only justification you need to be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to tell you who you should be.


• Self-reflection: Without self-reflection we cannot make personal value judgments about our behavior and character. We do not judge ourselves to condemn ourselves, but we must now and then contemplate our life to discover where we have went amiss so we can learn from our mistakes and experience.


• Sense of Purpose.


• Personal Integrity.


• Selflessness.

Several years ago, a lecturer described how he had lost everything: spouse, home, friends, possessions because he was betrayed by his best friend. In that moment of crisis, he asked himself a crucial question. "Who am I now?" He survived, his integrity intact.

If your worth is determined by the external, my question is this: "Who will you ever become?"

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Dennis Gaskill is the creator and owner of BoogieJack.com - a popular webmasters resource site. A published book author on web design, he also publishes the award-winning Almost a Newsletter and has written several eBooks, as well as ghost-writes for others. Visit his site for free web graphics and tutorials, as well as webmaster software and educational tools for beginning to advanced students.