How to Be a Man in Mid-Life

I mentioned to a colleague recently that some of my visitors find my blog by typing in to a search engine "mid-life crisis at 25" and his response was "That's just being 25." I couldn't agree more.

The term midlife crisis has become an umbrella term for any "radical change in behavior." The key difference between being a man at 25 and being a man at 45 is perspective.

Bishop Craig offers some perspective on how to be a man in mid life. To summarize, ask yourself

#1 - Where am I in terms of my own primary sense of identity or value?

If the man gains his identity primarily from work he will evaluate himself in terms of his career; if as a husband he will evaluate in terms of his marriage; if from parenting he will evaluate in terms of how his kids have turned out; if as an athlete he will evaluate in terms of his ongoing athleticism, and so on.

#2 - What am I afraid of?

We are socially conditioned as western males to deny fear, but all of us are afraid of something. Perhaps it's death (our own or of those we love), or being alone (either through death or abandonment), or being unloved, or (perhaps worst of all) of being incapacitated and finding no one to care for us or about us.

# 3 - What actions do I regret?

We all have regrets, but at this point in a man's life he starts thinking about them with an eye toward either making them right or making changes and/or doing things we wish we had done years ago but were too busy to do. That might mean taking up a new hobby, or trying a new career, or trying any of a number of other new things - not all of them healthy or productive.

Read more about Bishop Craig’s' thoughts on midlife reassessment.

As a midlife man, he's more qualified to speak on men's issues than I.

Comments

[Pete Aldin]

These are great questions and the men I know who contemplate them and reallign life accordingly are amongst the happiest people I've ever met.

Good post!