Boomer Kids' Quarterlife Crisis

How to Survive Your 20-Something's Midlife Crisis

Mid-life crisis, quarterlife crisis, all around angst. I want to stop the world and get off. I want to run away from home. But I know that this knee-jerk reaction is a subconscious fear that I can't handle "it".

The "it" in this post is a child's 20-something, quarter-something, WTF-not again crisis. Many of my readers are struggling with their own insecurities about unmet expectations in midlife, and they may not have the emotional reserves or stamina to manage their adult children's quarterlife crisis as well.

Prior to reading Quarterlife Qualms, I was fuming about my son's irresponsible behavior, yet again. I just didn't get it. How hard is it to get a job and keep it for more than six months?

Quarterlife Qualms provides some insight into this "quarterlife crisis for twentysomethings:"

1. Competition in the job market has intensified with a 53% increase in college enrollment since 1970.*
2. Attaining a decent standard of living requires a college degree today.
3. To reach the level that their parents have achieved often requires a professional degree.
4. College didn't prepare them for the harsh realities of "real life" nor did their parents (emphasis mine.)

"It's like, 'Man, I didn't ask to be an adult.... I don't feel like one. I still feel like I'm in high school...' ," said Jeff Milone, 27, founder of Quarterlives - Truth in Our Twenties.

For us "helicopter parents," therein lies the rub.

How many of my female readers were pregnant with their first (or second) child by the time they were 27; how many men (women) had been in the adult workplace for 5+ years?

All together now, "When I was your age...!" OMG - we've become our parents.

It all boils down to expectations. We can blame society, the econmony, pop culture or ourselves. I believe that there is a correlation between the quarterlife crisis and the midlife crisis.

Two twenty-something women quoted in the post agree. They believe that "if you really go through the quarterlife crisis on a deep or profound level, you might be able to escape another crisis in midlife."

What can Boomer parents do? Lower one's expectations. Reward positive behavior and ignore the rest. Understanding and tolerance go a long way.

Funny. That's the advice I give when women ask, "How can I deal with my husband's midlife crisis?

*Source:Quarterlife Crisis Hits Many in Late 20s: Settling on a Real, Grown-Up Job is Harder for a New Generation of College Grads, Keturah Gray, ABC News (2005).

Comments

[Nicolette]

Ryan,

The fact that you're questioning says that you're AWAKE. That's rare at a young age.

I think you are an old soul despite your age and that you just need to know that you are not alone.

Visit my new site: Search For Meaning at www.manspurpose.com. Read the articles and you will begin to see that there is more to life than the illusion that the media portray.

I sense that you have a lot to give.

Sign up for the newsletter to keep in touch with like-minded people.

[RYAN]

m8 i am going through one of these right now im just coming up 20 and dnt no what the fuk to do with my life I DONT WANT TO BE A FAILURE

[John Agno]

There is hope for boomer helicopter parents!

I have discovered that when children reach 25 years of age, they become real people as they discover that the world really doesn't rotate around them.

Most boomers don't want to continue to be "helicopter parents," hovering so long that their offspring never get a chance to grow up.

But with cell phones and email available 24/7, the temptation to check in is huge. Some boomer parents hang on, propelled by love and insecurity about how the world will treat their children....but when their kids complete their first quarter of a century, boomer parents begin to let them swim on their own.