Andropause Challenges: Mens Change of Life

Guest Post by Jed Diamond, author, Male Menopause

"He used to be the nicest guy you could imagine, now he's become moody and mean." I hear this bewildered concern from women all over the world.

"She used to be gentle and caring, now she treats me like her worst enemy." Men are equally frustrated and confused. Millions of women and men are finding that something strange is happening to them when their relationship moves into mid-life.

Sometimes I think it's evolution's little joke to split us apart and send us looking for new partners to propagate the species. But for those dealing with the stresses of mid-life, it is no joking matter. The key to saving our sanity and keeping our relationship alive and well is to understand two interrelated life changes affecting men (and the women who love them) at mid-life: male menopause and Irritable Male Syndrome.

I sometimes think of them as the double whammy. But with a little understanding and help from those we love, we don’t have to let them do us in.

What are the most common symptoms of male menopause and Irritable Male Syndrome (IMS)?

1. Hypersensitivity: The least little thing can set him off.
2. Anxiety: He worries all the time, even when things seem to be fine.
3. Frustration: At times, he seems like a pressure cooker about to explode.
4. Depression: He may not have the classic symptoms like sadness, feelings of worthlessness, or thoughts of death; but he definitely isn’t happy and he’s often irritable.
5. Loss of sexual desire: He doesn’t seem as interested as he once was.
6. Erectile dysfunction: Even when he’s interested he may have problems with erections.
7. Fatigue: His energy level is often low even when he has had lots of rest.

After seeing this kind of behavior occurring in my own mid-life marriage and those of my clients and friends, I set up a research project to determine the extent of the problem. I developed an Irritable Male Syndrome Quiz that was filled out by nearly 30,000 males and by thousands of women.

Based on the responses I received, I found that there were four major causes of Irritable Male Syndrome.

First were fluctuations in male hormones. This can occur as we age and our testosterone levels begin to drop. It can also result from lack of exercise and weight gain.

Second were changes in the biochemistry of the brain. For instance, drops in the levels of neurotransmitters such as dopamine and serotonin can increase feelings of hostility, anger, and blame.

The third cause of Irritable Male Syndrome was increasing stress levels in men as we age.
Finally, loss of male identity as we struggle with new sex roles in a changing society can create problems.

Although mid-life relationships experience many challenges, there is tremendous value in working through these issues together. One man, who has been married 32 years and raised three children with his wife, says, "Love is a lifetime of work. Be a little more empathetic to the one who really cares for you. Be patient. Nurture your relationship. It’s all you really have."

For more information on Irritable Male Syndrome and Male Menopause, please visit Jed's Web site at www.MenAlive.com

Jed Diamond is Director of MenAlive, a program dedicated to healing men and the women who love them. He is the author of seven books including Male Menopause and The Irritable Male Syndrome.

Comments

[Harry Parker]

Yes you are true.
Men’s health is never on anybody’s top of mind, for the have this ‘men-are-always-strong’ thing going on every time to satisfy their ego and maintain an image of a macho man who is not weak, never falls ill and is ever ready to spring in to action and do some rock and roll. In fact, because of this attitude and lifestyle they are now facing major syndrome, diseases and disorders very early on in life. Here we would discuss the major one’s in brief, so that one has better insight about what men are doing with their health, One out of five men faces infertility, which is alarming, has caused 40 % of couples to conceive. Of all these infertile men about 90% have reported low sperm counts, poor sperm quality, or both are the causes of their infertility or Other reasons

http://www.bluepharmacyrx.com

[Nicolette]

Carole,

You're absolutely right. Hormones affect everyone; testosterone in men and estrogen in women.

I think because women learn early on about how intricate our physical mechanism can be that we are inherently more attuned to physical or hormonal changes.

A man doesn't have to be in his 50s or 60s to feel low energy or libido. One of the men behind the clinic I mention became involved after his treatment left him feeling like a new man. And he's in his late 30s.

The point is that there are natural treatments for what ails us. Be open minded and ask questions. Your particular answer could be just around the corner.

Thanks for your feedback, Carole.

[Carole Heath]

I actually know a man who suffers with this condition Andropause he is about 66 years old now. He was having a terrible time with night sweats hot flushes, not being able to sleep, tiredness, and loss of energy and depression. He went to his doctor after putting up with the symptoms for 4 years or so, his doctor did some tests and he told him he had this condition Andropause low hormone levels. The doctor put him on some sort of HRT and since then he is a different man. He will most likely need to take this medication for the rest of his life he has been told but he doesn't mind that at all. When I mentioned this to another friend's husband about the so called male menopause he laughed and said there is no such thing only women get a menopause. I watched a programme on TV recently which was about this particular illness, I told my friend's husband to watch it and he rang back and said sorry i apologise you were right it is a male illness after all.
Perhaps some men should find out more about these problems and not dismiss them off hand.

[Nicolette]

Hi Olivia,

Our good friend, Dr. Mark Ahearn, just became Medical Director of a facility here in Houston. They specialize in biodentical hormone treatment too for men (and women) and have seen the same results as your husband.

For Houston locals, they're on Bissonet in Bellaire. www.hrcmedical.com.

Tell the "Doc" that "Nick" sent you.

[Olivia]

Wanted to share with everyone a great doctor who my husband and I found in Louisville, KY named Dr. Abell. His office is brand new and he focuses on Bioidentical Hormones
He is wonderful! My husband is just like the man I married 20 years ago!