man-o-pause

Facing Oneself Most Essential

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BoomerLifestyle.com commented last month on the post about Baby Boomers spending habits changing.

Love your concept that we might use this recession not only as a bellwether for change, but also as an opportunity to "reinvent ourselves as a less consumption-based society/culture."

Since you've already cut worthless expenditures, and seem to indicate we all might be able to cut our spending habits by 20% without breaking a sweat, do you have any suggestions as to how we might start doing this as a country?

You know, like the victory garden concept that became so popular during WWII?

I'd love to see a national campaign... an "all for one and one for all" kind of thing...

Here's my philosophical response:

If we asked ourselves every day, "What is the most essential?," then we would quickly eliminate the extraneous in our lives. I can define worthless expenditures" as wasted time, cheap goods, toxic people, imbalanced emotions, outworn concepts, etc.

Marketers are adept at stimulating desire through our emotions, primarily fear.

Developing discernment is the key to determining true worth and the fruits of our labor.

A Teacher once spoke of the danger of comfort. "Comfort is the coffin of the soul." I interpreted this to mean that in comfort, we can become complacent; when we are complacent, we are asleep; when we are asleep, we are open to manipulation; when we allow ourselves to be manipulated; we are as sheep.

When we are sheep, forces, that do not have our best interests at heart, will use us for their own gain.

Thus, I’ve summarized the history of mankind.

Is the returning of obscene bonuses a true sign of "all for one and one for all?" Coercion is not cooperation. True sacrifice springs from the heart and desire to do good. The word “goodwill” has a deep, esoteric meaning. Think about it.

Who is willing to sacrifice for his neighbor without thought for himself?

The material obstacles on the path of Service are not the most difficult.

When you strip away your possessions, your comforts, your ideas of what it means to be a man, ask yourself this: "Who am I now?" Can you face yourself with grace and humor?

When we broaden our consciousness, then we will have the answer.

Boomers Reflect the New Consumer Mood

Boomers, who have grown more affluent with age, are reversing dramatically their spending habits. (See Boomers Caught in Squeeze Play, Adweek.)

Cutting back on non-essentials has been a fact of life for my family the last several years. In hindsight, I'm glad we struggled to live within our means because now nothing shocks me. We let go of all the consumer traps long ago.

The commenters on the Adweek article provide a snapshot of where Boomers think the American economy is heading:

"....the reality is that a lot of US consumption has been focused on meaningless/worthless crap that can be quickly eliminated from our collective buying habits. How much Chinese plastic stuff do we really need? That goes for clothes, cars, TV's, etc. I have personally seen well-off families in my town cut 20% off their spending without breaking sweat.

"....  but I am hopeful that we reinvent ourselves as a less consumption-based society/culture."

The changing fortunes of a huge buying segment could have the U.S. economy contracting for years. I, for one, believe this is a good thing.

Other references: Marketing Profs Daily Fix.

10,000 Boomers Turn 60 Each Day

While it can be argued that anyone born between the years 1946 -1964 is a "Baby Boomer" demographically, it's when I evaluate the psychographics of that generation where the argument doesn't hold. I'm with President Obama on embracing the post-boomer mentality.

With the speed of technology shortening our attention spans, measuring a generation in 20-year spans is irrelevant. Today's world is less about labels and more about attitude, focus and vision.

This country and our new administration needs energized citizens who will transcend labels and align with every generation who understands that what was torn apart and stripped down during the tumultuous 60s, can and will be reorganized and revitalized, paving the way, finally, for the rebirth of a great citizenry.

This post was inspired by a new column announced in The New York Times called Generation B. Michael Winerip will provide reporting and personal thoughts on the boomer life and late middle age. With 1.7 million baby boomer blogs alone, he seems a little late to the party.

But I welcome another voice trying to make sense of the unexpected. Boomers could just be the last generation to read newsprint.

Is it Really Bye-Bye For Boomers?

On January 20, 2009, president-elect Barack Obama will be sworn in as the 44th President of the United States.

While technically part of the Boomer Generation, every generation wants to lay claim to America's next president. Gen X, more cynical and clear-eyed than boomers, according to sociologists, voted for him; Gen Y, who viewed him as the multi-cultural, multi-dimensional, multi-tasking Everyman, danced in the streets when Obama won the election.

So is it really over for the Baby Boomers?

This election represents, without a doubt, a generational shift. More importantly, it represents a psychological shift among intelligent, thinking people who, through their craving for change evoked  change and voted in the candidate who represented America's highest ideals.

The 2008 election represents a seismic shift in the American psyche, and people who voted for change, I believe, transcend labels.

When a colleague at work asked me if I thought a black man could be president, I answered, "He's not black; he's American." How can we label someone who personifies the greatest parts of ourselves?

It's been said that 2012 marks the end of the Mayan calendar which coincides with the end of Obama's first term in office. This kind of timing is no accident.

The Call has gone out; the victor lays claim to the Future.

The dawning of the true Age of Aquarius could be just four short years away.

Baby Boomers, you may have one more shot at changing the world. Idealism is alive and well in our household. How about in yours?

Photo courtesy: Hennessey G's Photography.

Mid-Life Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes: Time For an Encore Career?

Year end is often a time for reflection. This year brought changes of historic proportions. Some good but also challenging on many levels, especially for midlife boomers. You may be considering a lifestyle change, a midlife career change, having an identity crisis or looking for that "encore career". Boomster.com is running a contest for Boomers to win a customized research report on how, exactly, you might reach your goal.

• Win a detailed, step-by-step guide to meeting a new goal.
• Open to people ages 45-65+.
• Prepared by Barbara Oliver, former Research Director, The New York Times.
• Enter from now until March 15, 2009. One winner is chosen every two weeks.

Sample reports are available online at Boomster's Dream Library.

Midlife Dentistry

I have a confession; I have a thing about teeth. Unhealthy, crooked, yellow teeth to be more specific. I could barely watch the movie, Austin Powers, because of the cosmetically altered, snaggle teeth of the star, Mike Meyers. Otherwise, I thought the movie was hysterical.

There are any number of reasons why people have poor dental hygiene: economics, genetics, poor self image. The problem with letting your teeth go well into middle age is that the overall health of your body can start to suffer. For this reason, I welcomed Dr. Peter J. Pagano as today’s Guest Poster, who had this to say:

A healthy smile can lead to a healthy body. At midlife, cosmetic dental procedures should also restore healthy gums and natural chewing function. If done correctly, they can resolve health issues not normally associated with a dental condition.

After treating midlife patients for thirty years, I wrote the upcoming book: Ageless Smile: What You Need to Know About Midlife Dentistry (Foghorn Communications, January 2009). In it I describe how these common midlife dental symptoms can be related to one another:

1. Thinning lips.

2. Wrinkles and sagging around your mouth and jaw.
3. Wearing down of your teeth causing a collapse in your mouth area.
4. Missing or cracked teeth.
5. Increased pressure in your head and sinuses.
6. Facial pain.
7. Dark fillings that show when you laugh or smile.
8. Neck and low back pain.
9. Needing root canals on one side of your mouth.

Midlife dentistry begins with dental treatment that corrects structural problems while restoring balance to your head, neck and jaw. This can eliminate pain not normally associated with a dental condition. Only with a solid foundation in place will dental implants and other cosmetic options like veneers and crowns feel natural and last.

Dentistry is engineering on a much smaller scale. Even a few millimeters of imbalance can create health problems and pain.

If you want to update an aging smile with dental implants and crowns, realize that advertisements for immediate implants are not right for many people. If you are already experiencing head pain, you want to make sure your cosmetic dentistry is performed by someone to takes an orthopedic approach.

Note: This is not an endorsement of Dr. Pagano's services but offered as a public service. Please use care and due diligence whenever seeking professional services of any kind.

If you'd like to be featured as a Guest Poster on a topic relevant to midlife, please drop me an email. If I believe there's value to my readership, I'll gladly offer you the space.

Struggling Through Midlife

If yesterday's post was a little flip regarding the very real anxiety men feel in today's economy, I offer another voice for career change help. He's H. Les Brown, a career change consultant, and he writes about midlife mastery and career change.

His latest article focuses on two key factors that everyone needs to take if they're feeling stuck in their job:

1. Create an exit strategy. An exit strategy is nothing more than asking, "What if?"
2. Make one decision right now. Acceptance is not complacency, but merely the first step in a series to put you on a path of a meaningful midlife transition.

What motivates a person to make a career change is different for everyone. Oddly, my exit strategy was also my decision. I found that with decision came direction. I knew what type of company culture/values I was looking for, I knew I liked the freedom of being self-employed, I expected to paid my full worth, and I knew relocating would be very stressful for me and my family.

When I accepted the fact that I no longer wanted consulting clients, for example, I created an opportunity to work in-house, on contract, for a stable, respected company without having to relocate.

Having purposely avoided the corporate environment my entire career, working for one of the largest companies in the world feels like landing on another planet, which is kind of fun for me. But if you're in a soul-deadening career, it's never too late to get career change help.

I don't know H. Les Brown personally, but his enlightening articles will at least provide the first step: Direction.

 

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage. ~ Anais Nin

Male Midlife Anxiety

It's been said that correlation is not causation, but when I saw a doubling of traffic two days ago, it made me wonder.

Over the past several months, Baby Boomer men in particular have been getting hammered financially. You'd have to be living under a rock not to be aware of the economic malaise hammering our confidence and bank accounts. Since most men are hardwired to equate their masculinity with their ability to provide, the recent gyrations in the financial markets coupled with news of massive layoffs has most men freaking out. Hence, the spike in traffic. At least that's my theory.

Even if you have a good job, your future is still uncertain. Your 401K has been halved, and you believe that there's only so much time to replenish your savings for that ever-elusive "retirement."

The irony is that men mostly created this Masters of the Universe mentality which has left Wall Street gasping for air. In "Maybe the Meldown's a Guy Thing," The New York Times refers to a research study that suggests raging male hormones may explain why those who rule global markets send them up when excited (aggression=testosterone) and then down when scared (fear=coritsol).

According to John M. Coates, a former trader who is now a senior research fellow in neuroscience and finance at the University of Cambridge, many traders are influenced by either a positive feedback loop; an increase in testosterone creates a "winners high" or a negative feedback loop; an increase in cortisol creates emotional fear-mongers.

With wide market swings, traders are being whipsawed by their hormones. Because women and older men are less likely to produce excess cortisol and lower levels of testosterone, he advises getting more of them on the trading floors.

It may not be the midlife career change you were looking for, but it would give you an opportunity to recoup your investments.