man-o-pause

Search For Meaning | Manspurpose.com Web Launch

This day has been almost four years in coming. Man-o-pause is the precursor to my new site, Search For Meaning.

When Man-o-pause.com ranked #1 on Google out of 88,000,000 pages for the term, "man's purpose in life," I knew I was on to something. It helped that I'm skilled in search engine optimization (SEO), which is my day job, but still...

I bought the domain, www.manspurpose.com, not quite knowing what I would do with it. As traffic continued to build on this site, I realized that I was meeting a need. Almost 70,000 unique visitors have stopped by, reading 92,000+ pages of content collectively.

For your readership and following, I'm eternally grateful.

Over time however, I became more and more interested in talking about the deeper meaning of life.

While understanding one's midlife crisis can indeed be a path toward transformation, I believe that the state of the world demands deeper spiritual connection not only to the family of man, but also to the planet.

World events have created a "crisis of opportunity." Man-o-pause is a bridge to this new site, Search For Meaning. It is not for everyone. But

• If you're looking to broaden your consciousness, then this site is for you.

• If you want to experience creative flight, then this site's for you.

•  If you strive toward the Future with a flaming heart, then this site's for you.

• If you're seeking your Soul purpose, then this site's for you.

You can subscribe to newsletter updates by inserting your email address in the sign up box on the upper left of this page. Or visit the site and sign up there.

Struggling Through Midlife

If yesterday's post was a little flip regarding the very real anxiety men feel in today's economy, I offer another voice for career change help. He's H. Les Brown, a career change consultant, and he writes about midlife mastery and career change.

His latest article focuses on two key factors that everyone needs to take if they're feeling stuck in their job:

1. Create an exit strategy. An exit strategy is nothing more than asking, "What if?"
2. Make one decision right now. Acceptance is not complacency, but merely the first step in a series to put you on a path of a meaningful midlife transition.

What motivates a person to make a career change is different for everyone. Oddly, my exit strategy was also my decision. I found that with decision came direction. I knew what type of company culture/values I was looking for, I knew I liked the freedom of being self-employed, I expected to paid my full worth, and I knew relocating would be very stressful for me and my family.

When I accepted the fact that I no longer wanted consulting clients, for example, I created an opportunity to work in-house, on contract, for a stable, respected company without having to relocate.

Having purposely avoided the corporate environment my entire career, working for one of the largest companies in the world feels like landing on another planet, which is kind of fun for me. But if you're in a soul-deadening career, it's never too late to get career change help.

I don't know H. Les Brown personally, but his enlightening articles will at least provide the first step: Direction.

 

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage. ~ Anais Nin

Mid-Life Resurrection

If you're transitioning through midlife full-bore, you may be surprised one day to find yourself stuck in a life you no longer want.

Don't despair. Just as in adolescence, angst and disorientation are all part of the mid-life transition. A spirit of self-acceptance will help.

Midlife is an opportunity to resurrect oneself from the mire of matter and false gods. If you've been laboring in a field that leaves you feeling dull and diminished, recognize labor for its true purpose. Labor is the process of manifesting achievements that are reached through striving. Through labor you open your inner resources. No matter what your profession, it is your striving that defines you, not your title.

A great Sage said, "Through labor we conquer." What is there to conquer? you may ask. We conquer our small, limited, false self.

When labor and striving unite, there is resurrection. Resurrection is freedom from fear, anxiety and distress. Seek each day to stand with new definiteness that you are the Self. Embrace this time of opportunity for expansion.

More radiant than the sun,
purer than the snow,
subtler than the ether,
is the Self,
the Spirit within my heart.
I am that Self;
that Self am I.

Midlife Blues : Making it Right

You may have missed the news about the "mid-life slump" which has now been verified by researchers in Great Britain and the U.S. Data was collected on measures such as depression, anxiety, mental well-being, happiness and life-satisfaction spanning more than 35 years.

I don't know about you but 35 years ago, I was in a "puberty slump." As I recall in 1973, I was depressed, anxious, unhappy and dissatisfied with school, family, work and boys. Fast forward to 2008 and if you're depresesd, anxious, unhappy and dissatisfied with family, work and boys/men, (Thank god we're no longer in school!) then I suggest you're not experiencing a mid-life crisis. May I tenderly suggest that you are living a self-absorbed, self-contained, shallow life. At 15 this is acceptable. At 45, it is not.

My personal antidote to depression and self-absorption is to get outside of myself. I find that when I give to others, even if it's a simple phone call to my mother, I feel better. If you're feeling down and troubled and you need a helping hand . . . (Oh wait. That's Carol King.) I recommend a "giving hand" to help you out of your midlife (or otherwise) slump.

The ravages Hurricane Katrina wrought are still with us. Ellen Degeneres, a native of New Orleans, brought the point home on a recent show. Her efforts to help the displaced people of her home town have raised over $10 million. Brad Pitt convened a group of experts in New Orleans to brainstorm about building green affordable housing on a large scale to help victims of Hurricane Katrina. Having spent time with community leaders and displaced residents determined to return home, Pitt realized that an opportunity existed to build houses that were not only stronger and healthier, but that had less impact on the environment.

Visit Making It Right and Adopt a House. Say so long to midlife malaise.

What Can I Do to Help Humanity?

At this time of year, many of us feel depressed, disillusioned, dissatisfied, disengaged and, even, desperate. And we don't know why. These feelings run counter to the joy and celebration surrounding us.

We can look to the stars for one explanation. Astronomically, the sun is at its lowest point in the sky. The days are shorter; the nights are longer. Symbolically, this represents a time of inner reflection and contact with the spiritual side of one's nature. One can take the initial steps toward finding life purpose. Let this prayer be your guide.

Mantram of Unification

The sons of men are one and I am one with them. I seek to love, not hate.I seek to serve and not exact due service. I seek to heal, not hurt. Let pain bring due reward of light and love. Let the Soul control the outer form and life and all events, and bring to light the love which underlies the happenings of the time. Let vision come and insight. Let the future stand revealed. Let inner union demonstrate and outer cleavages be gone. Let love prevail. Let all men love.

Om Mani Padme Hum.

Defining One's Life Purpose

If you're looking to overcome the mid-life transition with purpose and meaning, I encourage you to visit CivicVentures.org.

Every year Civic Ventures recognizes individuals over 60 who are using their talents to enhance the Greater Good by awarding The Purpose Prize –– five $100,000 and ten $10,000 investments. Nominations are now being accepted for 2008.

To nominate someone you know or to apply yourself, visit PurposePrize.Org. The application deadline is March 1, 2008. Prizes will be announced in the fall of 2008.

"Aging Boomers should be encouraged not only to continue contributing, but to rethink the purpose of that work—in short, to dust off their idealism of the ’60s and ’70s, and get to work making the world a better place."

As Marc Freedman, Founder and CEO, said, "It is the perfect opportunity for the generation that set out to change the world and got lost along the way." If you want to embrace the second half of life, read on.

A special thanks to Ode Magazine and their Encore Forum.

Man-Making: Healing the Hurt

I watched a video produced by the non-profit Boys to Men that gave a snapshot of the healing potential when we acknowledge what's broke inside. What struck me most was that the father in the video needed to recognize how and why he was pushing his son to meet unrealistic expectations. The father cried more than his son.

I think, to some degree, we are all damaged inside. There are millions of men who are trying to do right by their sons, but the little boy inside was never cherished. I believe the weekend was as powerful a transforming experience for the midlife men as it was for their sons.

When you heal yourself, you heal your son.

Finding a Purpose in Life

Each of us were born with a unique purpose in life. Along the road to becoming, we may stumble and fall, but the quest for true meaning guides us.

In Life On Purpose: Six Passage to an Inspired Life by Brad Swift, DVM, the author advocates "transforming the world from one that's off purpose to one on purpose, one person at a time."

As the saying goes, it's simple but not easy.

In reality your Purpose already exists. One must first learn how to labor, then develop skills, goals, a plan and then strive toward the Purpose. Often people want to reach the summit before they develop skills.

I remember an employer saying, "You have to walk before you can run." I didn't like this advice one bit, but looking back I realized that I needed to develop muscles (skills) in order to reach my goals and to create a plan for my life.

Dr. Swift outlines a proven, systematic, spirutally based, and practical approach to begin to live a life at cause including a number of exercises to clarify your unique and "purposeful path."

Some confuse the means or the process to be an end in itself. Working to make money is not your Purpose, for example. Work is what we do on the way to Becoming. With a false purpose you eventually reach a dead-end street. I think this is at the root of why men in midlife question their choices.

A purposeless life is a confused life. In a family unit, if everyone is allowed to do their own thing, the family degenerates. If they don't work together, play together, plan together, they are like an instrument out of tune. When a parent gives a child a goal, he helps to integrate that child to a larger purpose, even if is only to clean his room. A synchronized family is a harmonious family.

And that's how we begin to transform the world, one person at a time.

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Additional references: The Purpose of Life, Torkom Saraydarian, p. 20.