man-o-pause

Understanding Male Mid-life Crisis Symptoms

The video runs about 10 min and, while it doesn't cover new ground, it does offer a succinct medical perspective on the emotional vs. biological symptoms for men in mid-life.

Don't be put off by the PeeWee Herman living room setting. This isn't Larry King Live!

Other Resources: MaleHealth, out of the UK, provides a wealth of information on the subject.

Man-o-pause Call for Submissions

For the first time ever, I'm opening this site to guest authors. Regular readers will know that I'm busy with my Web consulting and the launch of my latest site, Search for Meaning. I'm simply running slow on posting meaningful content and don't want new readers to miss out on almost four years worth of great posts.

If you have something to say that is insightful and informative about any of the following:

Male Midlife Crisis
Healthy Relationships
Quarterlife Crisis
Male Humor
Mid-life Career Change

please send me an email. Just click the "email me" link below my photo.

Submission Guidelines:

1. 100-300 words max.
2. No blatant self-promotion (although I am generous with keywords in anchor text.)
3. A reciprocal link to Search for Meaning.

Midlife Crisis Cars

Growing up in the Detroit area, the car culture was part of my DNA. I remember every car purchase, from my first cigar-infused, Ford 4-door with three on the panel, for which I paid $250, to my current BMW 3Z (bought used), which won't be paid off until March 2010. Good thing those German makes run for 300,000+ miles because it's the last car I'm buying.

When business required that I buy/lease a respectable car, I leased the same make and model that my sister's boyfriend, Chuck, owned in high school because he was so darn cute -- an Olds Cutlass, in case you're curious.

For years, calling on the domestic automotive industry prevented me from buying an import. Loyalty was a big deal back in the 80s. When I "retired" from advertising, my first car purchase was my dream car: a red Mercedes 560SL. I identified with both the Six-Million Dollar Man and Malibu Barbie!

Suffice it to say, cars reflect one's personality and self-image, so I'm delighted to learn of a new book geared to the midlife car fanatic called, Top Gear's Midlife Crisis Cars by Matt Master (BBC Books) and available at Amazon.com.

As you can see, midlife crisis cars are not limited strictly to the midlife man.

For sheer Baby Boomer nostalgia, you might like Crap Cars or My Dad Had One of Those, also brought you by the editors of Top Gear.

How to Survive Male Menopause

Male Menopause

When I came up with the name of this blog, Man-o-pause, I wanted to convey levity to the change of life for men. Unlike the female menopause, which has been researched, dissected and discussed for years, men rarely seek help when a midlife crisis strikes.

The fact is the male mid-life is no laughing matter. The midlife anger that often erupts for men can and does destroy family relationships, self esteem, and physical health.

Jed Diamond, a pioneer in the emerging field of male gender medicine, addresses a woman's concern in helping a spouse through his midlife crisis. He details the latest research findings on male menopause symptoms and on this crucial change of life for men.* For example,

* 52% of men between 40 and 70 in the U.S. are now going through male menopause.
* Men experience complex hormonal rhythyms that affect their mood, their physical well-being and their sexuality.
* Emotional symptoms include irritability, worry, indecisiveness and depression.
* Physical symptoms include fatigue, weight gain, short-term memory loss and sleep disturbance.
* Sexual symptoms include reduced libido, fear of sexual failure and an increased desire to "prove" he can still perform by seeking a younger partner.

Finally, male menopause is like adolescent puberty where a man faces issues of identity, sexuality, dependence and independence for the second time.

What makes this so difficult for the family, and spouse in particular, is that because the symptoms of male menopause often come on suddenly, the reaction is often one of judgement and recrimination.

I remember preparing for my son's eventual passage through adolescence when he was only a toddler. I had read that adolescence was very similar to the Terrible Twos. I thought that if I gave myself a 10-year head start, I'd be better prepared for the inevitable adolescent angst, and I was.

To my female readers, I recommend preparing for your husband's midlife as he approaches 40. I speak from experience. You'll need time to work through your own levels of acceptance, similar to Elizabeth Kübler-Ross's "Five Stages of Grief," because this phase often represents a "loss" of the man you once knew.

Change is never easy, but awareness is the first step toward acceptance and your man in this stage of life needs all the love, patience and mid-life support you can offer.

Ending on a lighter note, I just discovered a multi-search site at Webmonkey called Addict-o-matic™-inhale the web. I gathered all the news, YouTube videos, Flickr photos, top blogs and twitters, Diggs and Wikios found across the Web all about male menopause.

Isn't it great to know you're not alone?

* Go to How to Survive Male Menopause for the complete article.

How to Be a Man in Mid-Life

I mentioned to a colleague recently that some of my visitors find my blog by typing in to a search engine "mid-life crisis at 25" and his response was "That's just being 25." I couldn't agree more.

The term midlife crisis has become an umbrella term for any "radical change in behavior." The key difference between being a man at 25 and being a man at 45 is perspective.

Bishop Craig offers some perspective on how to be a man in mid life. To summarize, ask yourself

#1 - Where am I in terms of my own primary sense of identity or value?

If the man gains his identity primarily from work he will evaluate himself in terms of his career; if as a husband he will evaluate in terms of his marriage; if from parenting he will evaluate in terms of how his kids have turned out; if as an athlete he will evaluate in terms of his ongoing athleticism, and so on.

#2 - What am I afraid of?

We are socially conditioned as western males to deny fear, but all of us are afraid of something. Perhaps it's death (our own or of those we love), or being alone (either through death or abandonment), or being unloved, or (perhaps worst of all) of being incapacitated and finding no one to care for us or about us.

# 3 - What actions do I regret?

We all have regrets, but at this point in a man's life he starts thinking about them with an eye toward either making them right or making changes and/or doing things we wish we had done years ago but were too busy to do. That might mean taking up a new hobby, or trying a new career, or trying any of a number of other new things - not all of them healthy or productive.

Read more about Bishop Craig’s' thoughts on midlife reassessment.

As a midlife man, he's more qualified to speak on men's issues than I.

Understanding Male Menopause

If you've been wondering "What is a man's menopause,?" I just discovered another voice in the Midlife Movement over at FourOh.com, dedicated to taking the crisis out of mid-life. They offer a reasoned response.

". ...The important step to take in dealing with male menopause is to be willing to accept it as a part of life. Acceptance leads to understanding and the more information and knowledge you are able to gather about the condition, the better you will be able to handle it. It may be stressful for some, while others may look at it as a challenge and decide to turn a negative condition into something positive. It's all a matter of one's mindset."

Symptoms of Early Midlife Crisis

Thirty-something men apparently are more disillusioned, misdirected and apathetic than ever. According to Alden Cass, a clinical psychologist and performance coach, when reality doesn't meet expectations, he finds that younger men experience the equivalent of the male mid-life crisis at a younger age.

Perfectionist personality types tend to exhibit these symptoms and Cass focuses his findings on the financial sector, which attracts the more Type A personality.

So if you're not on Wall Street or the Chicago Mercantile and don't have unrealistic expectations, don't worry, be happy. See following post :-)

Baby Boomer Career Made In Hog Heaven

A perfect midlife career transition might be self-employment by way of franchise ownership. According to Scott Yarnell, GuruFocus, "... For the patient investor who enjoys accumulating, at reasonable prices, those rare privileged companies with a durable business franchise, current market conditions offer such an opportunity with Harley-Davidson (HOG).

"... Warren Buffet has explained that the test for a business franchise is how much harm a competitor can do to the company if the competitor did not behave rationally with regard to its own performance. In the case of Harley, the well established mystic of owning a Harley among its devoted customers appears impossible for others to imitate. Harley customers pay a premium for both the image and quality of a Harley motorcycle. The company has managed to create an entire culture.

"Although I have seen many willing to adorn their bodies with the Harley name, I have yet to see anyone with a Honda motorcycle tattoo (and not for lack of looking). For most of its customers, a Harley is the only motorcycle they will purchase. This strong brand loyalty among its customers seems to cement Harley’s status as a durable business franchise. Harley has over 49% of the market for heavyweight motorcycles in the U.S. while its closest competitor has only 15%..."

While this is not a stock recommendation, I do think it offers some insight into a viable middle age career change. If you're turning 50, why not have fun with the quintessential "male midlife crisis" product.