Why Are Middle Age Men So Crabby?

The Huffington Post published their Top Midlife posts for 2012, all but one of which was written by a man, Jed Diamond, who wrote the book on Irritable Male Syndrome, literally.

While I may expand this blog to focus more on the transformational aspects of midlife for both men and women, rather than solely on men in crisis, I still want to keep my eye on what men are sharing online, so I’m  highlighting positive male blogging role models. Jed is one of them.

Here’s a summary of Jed's Huff Pick entitled, “Why is Midlife Such a Downer?” He quotes research using data of two million people from 80 countries which concludes that pretty much everyone in the world between 40 and 50 years of age is depressed and unhappy. Don’t you feel better just knowing that?

But think about it. The decade between 40 and 50 represents your prime earning years and accompanying pressure; if you have children, you’re experiencing their most stressful growth phases; if you’re married, you very likely may be wondering who is the person sleeping next to you (because you sure haven’t had sex in a while!)

Add to this the stressors of staying healthy and in shape and the mundane tasks of car maintenance and grocery shopping, and you thank god it’s 5 o’clock somewhere. I know I have.

Do Men & Women Express Unhappiness Differently?

A therapist once told me that anger is depression turned inward. While Jed doesn’t specify gender when mentioning the unhappiness of thousands of midlife souls, I suspect that women tend toward depression and tears and men tend toward anger due to societal conditioning. Male aggression became the topic of the above mentioned book.

Irritable male syndrome is “a state of hypersensitivity, anxiety, frustration and anger that occurs in males and is associated with biochemical changes, hormonal fluctuations, stress, and loss of male identity,” Jed wrote.

The research identified unhappiness patterns, showing a “U-shaped curve” with a very clear low period during midlife. That may not be the truth you want to hear, but if you can make it through the challenging middle years, the study stated that by the time you turn 70, you’ll experience the happiness and mental health of a 20-year old.

We have a lot of life left to live from 50 years on given that our life expectancy is approaching 80 years, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. I suggest you use this time wisely to understand what’s really important and to practice mindfulness in every way.

Image courtesy of Imagery Majestic / FreeDigitalPhotos.net