Whether you’re single and sixteen or single and sixty, hooking up or dating can provoke a certain amount of anxiety. Of course, depending on how long you’ve been single may determine whether you experience the tingling excitement of a potential new partner or a full blown panic attack accompanied by flop sweat.
And just because you can “Google” someone doesn’t mean you’ll be able to tell if he or she will capture your attention with that critical intangible: chemistry.
Some people advise meeting for lunch as a first date. I’m not convinced this is the way to go. With many of us never leaving our desk, the thought of taking time out of my work day to meet a complete stranger poses a challenge. It’s hard enough for me to justify having lunch with a girlfriend during office hours. Oddly, leaving the office for a date feels like work.
I’d rather take the advice of a fictional character, who recommends meeting for drinks. I like the straightforwardness of that. It works for most any day of the week; it gives you something to look forward to or, at the very least, a reason to leave work early; if you hit it off, you can move on to dinner. Perfect. Two dates in one. In my experience, by the third date, you know whether there’s future potential, so you’re more than halfway there!
If the chemistry’s not happening, there’s no harm done in leaving after an appropriate time and calling it a night. And, if you don’t drink alcohol, an invitation for cocktails may be the only signal either one of you need. No judgment, but the choice of meeting place may actually simplify your life and save you time.
What do you think would make the ideal first date?
P.S. I’m writing this on the weekend of our 23rd wedding anniversary, and our first date was over the phone. Our long-distance romance started with letters (Can you believe it?) and ended in a proposal three months later. Suffice it to say, we have chemistry!
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